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In the winter of 2011, my husband and I noticed that our son was having some pretty serious behavioral issues at school. He was biting a lot and would become extremely violent when frustrated. I remember one day being called to the school to “observe” him during story time. My heart broke as I watched my son literally running circles for 10 minutes as the other children sat and listened to the story. I kept thinking, “What is going on? Why is he just running circle after circle?” That was the very moment that I knew that something just wasn’t “right” with Web. I cried right there in the hallway at his school. This wasn’t my son. This wasn’t Web. My son is the sweet baby boy who pats my head when I’m tucking him in at night and whispers, “Momma… you’re my favorite girl. I love you a big much!” Shortly after that day, Web was expelled from his daycare and was not to return until his behavior was better.
Immediately after he was expelled from that school, we tried to put him in a smaller class at another school only to have him last about two weeks there before being expelled again. My husband and I decided to hire a Nanny to help him through this time as we weren’t sure what exactly was going on. We thought that maybe he was just bored at school and acted out. Maybe he was just over stimulated? For about 7 months, he worked on a daily basis with his Nanny who had her Masters Degree in education, specializing in special education. I locked myself in my room and worked as I was a HUGE distraction to him. When he would fight or get a temper tantrum, I would come out and help his Nanny gain back control over him. I was able to be there when he needed immediately and hang out and have movie days. We saw him change leaps and bounds in his academics but continued to see major issues with his behavior and social skills. We even removed red dye from his diet, which we thought helped a lot. He seemed to be a lot more calm, less violent and defiant. So much so that we thought he could go back to school.
In August of last year, he started back to school. I remember running out to the driveway as my husband pulled up from Web’s first day. I knew by the look on his face that it did not go well. Web bit his teacher on the very first day back to school. The second day I was called to retrieve Web from school early because he had been defiant and violent to the other children in class. I remember not even being mad but crying the whole way home while he sat in the back and asked me, “Momma? Why are you crying? Don’t be sad.” For the next two weeks the school called me every single day requesting that I come and pick him up early due to his behavior. Each phone call and each day, my heart broke for my son more and more. Deep down, I knew this behavior didn’t reflect my son. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. What made me even more sad was Web’s reaction to his new school. He would cry in the mornings and ask if he could stay home. I thought he just had to learn to adjust but when I asked him why he didn’t want to go to school, he told me, “I don’t have any friends there. They won’t play with me. They don’t like me.” I dropped to my knees and hugged him while muffling my cries. I was devastated. We also noticed that he would get much more angry a lot faster than usual and he was even having more temper tantrums. I got very concerned when his teacher at school told me that he was hitting himself very hard in his stomach when he got frustrated. And then I was devastated when she confirmed his earlier reports about not having any friends. The other children refused to play with him. They knew he was different and didn’t want anything to do with him. Heartbroken and distressed, my husband and I had a meeting with his teacher and principal.
When the words came out of my mouth, it was like it wasn’t even me. “So… are you telling me that you think my son is on the Autism spectrum?” And then I heard nothing. I know she answered “Yes.” but I just couldn’t hear anything anymore. I kept tracing the letters on my notepad over and over and over again that spelled out AUTISM. The words “evaluation” and “therapy” were talked about and I don’t remember much after that. I just remember getting in my car and driving home while sobbing. AUTISM. AUTISM? For a week after that, I spoke to several friends and family members about what was going on. I was given so much support that it was almost overwhelming. We called an evaluation and therapy center in Houston and were on the list for an initial evaluation. I didn’t know if my son had Autism, but I was hopeful for any answer. When you’re at that point, you hope for ANY solution. After a year of questions, we were ready for answers.
Immediately after that meeting, my husband and I decided to pull him out of class and keep him at home until we figured all of this out. He was having a very dangerous reaction to his school due to the lack of ability to transition easily. He was having nightmares in addition to the self-abuse and we just couldn’t watch him self-destruct. We hired his Nanny back (thank God – she’s been amazing) and prepared for a “new” way of life.
Soon after that, Web had his evaluation and couldn’t even make it through the testing. He got frustrated at the incessant questions and overturned a chair then kicked me at the table. He was ready to go home… I was too. We waited for two weeks and then my husband and I walked hand in hand into the therapy room to hear our answers. It felt like we had waited so long to finally come to this point. What we heard was not what we wanted to hear. “Disruptive Behavioral Disorder.” That was it. Under that wide term umbrella were Autism, ADHD, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Due to Web’s age and testing, they just weren’t sure if it was any of the above, if any at all. We walked out of the meeting with even more questions than we had walked in with. The biggest question we had was, “What now?”
I was on turbo mode after that. We were going to do everything we could to get Web in a progressive environment. I had him on wait lists for speech and occupational therapy evaluations and had him signed up for an evaluation at the local special education department of our school district. We worked closely with his old teacher (who was an honest God send in this entire situation) as she advocated for him through reports and phone calls to help us out. Since his evaluation and results meeting, we have enrolled Web in 4 occupational therapy sessions per week as he proved eligible and in need for each one. We met with the district’s special education department and found that through the evaluation he had in Houston, he was eligible for immediate admission into the special education program. I remember speaking with the department head and crying from joy. I kept asking questions like, “What happens if he bites someone? If he hits someone? If he gets violent with a teacher?” I was so used to being prepared with those questions and trying to stay ahead of the game with Plan B that I just burst out into tears when he kept replying, “Nothing. He cannot be expelled. We have teachers that specialize in kids like Web and he will be in a wonderful environment that will help him. We just want to help him.” I just kept saying, “Oh my God.” like a crazy person. I just couldn’t believe it. Yesterday was Web’s first day at his new school. He is on the road to getting better and we’ve already seen HUGE differences since he started his occupational therapy sessions. We can’t wait to see Web progress more and more each day! We’re still having little battles (we just found out our insurance refuses to cover his occupational therapy sessions), but we know that God has a plan for Web. He is such a special little boy and the complete and utter joy of our lives.
I’ve asked God time and time again in the past two years why he gave me photography…. what for? I never studied it in college and it literally came out of nowhere. I never understood it until this year. Through all of this struggle for this past year, he answered me. Photography was never mine. He did not give it to me… he gave it to my son, Web. All this time He knew exactly what He was doing while I was just following along and claiming all the knowledge and talent. Because of photography, I was able to quit my job at a critical time and be with my son. Because of photography, we were able to afford an expensive Nanny who specialized in helping kids like Web. Because of photography, I could take all the time I needed to help him when he needed me. Because of photography, I was able to wage war on our struggles and take the time to search for answers. God gave the gift of photography because he knew the trials our family would go through. It was never mine… God never gave ME photography… it was never meant for me… it was Web’s all along.


FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND
“Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.” -Author Unknown
by Amanda
30 comments
I am only 19 years old. But I have a very strong passion for photography and an even deeper love for Jesus!! Your blog truly has inspired me! I often ask God what I can do with this photography business that he has graciously allowed me to learn and love! I hope to have a story as inspiring as yours and to be able to change someone’s life with my talents! Thank you for sharing!
Amanda – You don’t know me, though I follow you on Facebook. I literally sobbed through your story. I pray that God would be with your son and continue to give you strength to face the good days and the bad. What a great gift of photography you have and what a blessing to be able to be home while your boy needed you the most! Prayers are with you. And what an inspiration you are for full-time and part-time photographers.
Oh Amanda, my heart is feeling for you! I have been down a similar road and had those same “something isnt right feelings” our son was finally diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and just yesterday almost opened the car door in the midst of a tantrum while I drove down the street. Its a hard cross to bear, and it is an emotional journey to say the least. Now that we are past the initial shock of those early days and we have a better idea of what we can expect we have come to marvel at Kellan’s unique perspective on the world and his amazing mind…and how he sees things through a different lens. I will pray for you! I send you a warm hug from Oregon. I really just want you to know that there is a whole lot of loving momma’s who know what you are going through. It gets better it really does, and therapy and loving support goes a long way. I have know doubt you will take on this aspect of your life with all the love, passion, and vigor that you bring to your photography work. wishing you all the best- Jana
Your story is absolutely amazing and brought me to tears. You are an amzingly strong woman and mother. Web is so lucky to have you. Your way of stating that this “profession” is not yours but your son’s is a wonderful way of looking at it! My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time and may he continue to progress with his schooling
Lindsay
What a wonderful, touching, and brave story Amanda!
Amanda
I want you to know that I sympathize with your stress, pain and confusion. I can appreciate your frustration at not being able to “fix” what is that would make Web better, more accepted by society. You are a very strong mother and woman to have survived this and done so in a manner that is respectful of his challenges yet protective of his personality and individuality. God has given you a special blessing because you have the abilities and talents to deal with it. He knew you would love Web unconditionally yet never give up striving to better him as a human being and as a little boy growing into a young man. Remember this…this too shall pass. Each day when you feel like you might be stuck in a rut of challenges and turmoil, it will pass. The sun will set and it will come up again tomorrow. You won’t see recovery in huge steps, sometimes they will seem unnoticeable and minute…but rest assured…they are there. As you have the time to continue your photography, please do so…it is your release not just your career. It is your stimulation to continue growing in your own rights. These challenges Web faces with your help are indeed looming largely at times yet they are able to be worked with and through. He breathes, smiles, laughs and loves…he eats, walks, runs, speaks…he hears, sings, touches (yes sometimes with too much exuberance) and he LIVES…sending you much love and tons of positive vibes…keep up the good work, Momma and keep smiling…even through the tears some days… x0x0x0x0x0x
Thank you for your candor and sharing. How brave to put yourself out there. I was so moved by this post. I’m a huge fan and you will be in my continued prayers. God truly is good.
wow… so moving. i loved reading the whole thing. Your son is lucky to have you as you are lucky to have him. what a great team. so glad that the first day of school has been so great. much love and success as you wage through all of this as a family. xoxo
Beautiful words! God knows what to do we just have follow the plan without messing it up!! Web is adorable! and thank goodness he is yours!!
Oh Amanda, what hard words to write and how beautifully you wrote them. Praying for you, your husband and lil Web as you travel this journey of unknowns. You are right, God has been with you all along, and will continue to walk with you through all that is to come. He will never leave you or forsake you! Hope you words reach another mom needing to hear them, as they certainly touched my heart. Blessings and hugs,
~marci
Your story made me tear up! So moved by your patience and love for your child! Blessings to your family! Wish you all the best. You are an inspiration.
Wow, as a mother I know I can’t begin to imagine the journey you have been on this past year…The quote “remember that you were given this life because you’re strong enough to live it” comes to mind your strength is Amazing and Inspiring!!! God Bless!
Thank you for sharing Amanda. I think so many people look like their lives are so put together and perfect when behind closed doors there are real issues going on. We are struggling with very similar issues with our son. It’s heart wrenching to know they cannot help themselves. Your photography has been an inspiration to me and now I admire you even more knowing what you are dealing with. Thanks for sharing your life with us
Beautiful story
Thank you for sharing.
This made me teary but not because of your son’s diagnosis, he will have everything he needs and more. It made me teary because of how God has prepared a path for you! Isn’t HE so good?!
Amanda, I literally have not been on Fb in months but i got on today and saw your story about W. What a beautiful thing it is, when the scales come off, and we recognize what God’s purpose, will or plan was for us. I am sure those times you talked about were beyond scary. I hope things can continue on a path of understanding and patience for your son. I had to get away from photography to get to the purpose God has for me right now. Isn’t it funny how He plans every detail and my answers are not the correct answers for another’s situation. Stay stong…………..Isaiah 26:3
This was so moving, I had tears in my eyes. I am so glad that you have photography. I have been in awe of your talents and love to look at your photos. I am just starting out and would love to get into the senior market. As I planned my business, I have looked for photographers that I admire- And you are definitely one of them. There are many photographers that can produce a beautiful image- but few that consistently produce images that are all beautiful- and you do. You combine art and photography because your images call to people. It is so touching to hear such a personal story, we went through infertility and an adoption from Russia and things like this are the moments that try your trust in God. You are passing the test-most definitely. A close friend of mine has an autistic son and they live in Dallas. They found amazing help for him there, if you ever need any recommendations please e-mail me and I will contact her for you. He grew by leaps and bounds and is mostly mainstreamed now. My prayers are with you- and I definitely think God gave you the gift of photography. I hope to someday soon meet you at one of your workshops. God bless!
Thank you so much for putting this out there! He is such a cutie:) God always has a plan, and it is ALWAYS bigger and better than anything we could ever imagine. I love your work and admire your passion. Keep God first and the blessings will continue to flow! <3
What a special, heart-felt story. Thank you so much for having the courage to share. You and your family have been added to my prayer list. It is amazing how God makes the plans he does for us! You do have an exceptional God-given Talent.
I’m so glad you shared the whole story, Web is one lucky little boy to have such dedicated strong parents like you! You are so right, God always has a plan even if we can’t see where it leads. Love to you all!
Beautiful. God always has a plan.
You are such a strong person and Web is so lucky to have you as his momma! We went through a similar situation with our oldest. Biomedical treatment has been a miracle for us. If you ever want to talk more about it feel free to email me.
Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me that things happen for a reason….I wish your family the best…
Thank you for sharing your story! Your son is precious!!
Amanda, you are such an amazing inspiration!! Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us!!! You seriously blow me away….all the time…with every thing you do!!! God Bless you woman!!!! <3
I just read your story….wow….praying for you….I am a mother of 4 strong willed children..and someone once told me….that God gave your children the momma they needed….It is amazing the strength God gives us…exactly when we need it….You pictures are amazing!!!
Whew! That was like reading a novel. But with a tender heart I know its your true story. Prayers being sent your way, for God’s grace for your entire family. Lucky little Web, to have such a blessing in a mother like you. Love never fails.
Wish I could be there to give you a big old hug right now. I’m so happy Web is able to attend a place that understands him and what works for him. He looks like an fun loving guy that carries his mothers passion. You done good girl. Be proud of yourself.
Amanda-
I just happened to come across this post while on a web search. You’re story is amazing & an awesome testimony! Thankfully God has a much bigger plan for us than we could ever write for ourselves. It’s such a blessing to recognize His plans and know the path He has set for us…even if the road is hard. You have an amazing gift of showing God’s love through your work. It shows, girl. :*) Keep it up. Many blessings for you and your sweet family.
This is truly one of the most moving and beautiful stories I’ve ever read. My journey has been slow..unfolding over the past 9 years. I too sometimes wonder what it’s all for, questioning why photography fell onto my path and the passion I now have for it but yet not seeing it come into full fruition. Your story reminds me to trust in God and his timing and his purpose for everything that comes into my life. He prepared the way for you and without understanding, you followed and trusted him. THANK you for opening your heart and sharing your story and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your beautiful family.
Some of you may not know this, but in addition to photographing fashion inspired senior portraits, I also teach workshops to other photographers from all across the country! I am very blessed to have one of the most sought after senior photography workshops in the industry and even more blessed to have an amazing alumni (photographers who have attended the “Kitchen Sink Workshop”) group of some pretty amazing photographers with even more amazing hearts!
This blog post is about this past January’s workshop! In January, I introduced my NEW Kitchen Sink Workshop books! The KSW book is 384 pages of EVERYTHING (and more) that I teach in my workshop! I’ve always offered a workbook for my alumni at my workshops, but a lot has changed in my business since I wrote my last book, so I felt the need to update it! I also now include an 8 GB media drive full of video tutorials, templates, etc for my photographers who attend! A lot of photographers give out swag at workshops, but I feel that giving my workshop attendees the utmost education to take home with them is MUCH better!
I had so so so much fun with this group of photographers! It was like we had all been besties since childhood! We had so much fun in fact, that we almost got kicked out of Olive Garden for laughing too much and too loud. Oops! Feel free to check out all the behind the scenes from this super fun workshop and the resulting images!
If you’d like to see ALL of the behind the scenes from past Kitchen Sink Workshops, follow us at #kitchensinkworkshop on Instagram!














(BEHIND THE SCENES IMAGES FROM CHRISTY SCHMID PHOTOGRAPHY)




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by Amanda
2 comments
Amanda this was too fun!!!!
Whooooo hoo! That is BY FAR the MOST FUN I have EVER had LEARNING!!!!!! <3 There is a special place in my heart for you guys forever! <3


by Amanda
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by Amanda
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